Childish Grudges
by Tseli
Summary: After many mistakes and a falling out with his best friend, Gilbert's family ships him off to Germany to live with his grandfather. After three years abroad, Gilbert's back and wants back into Matthew's good books (and possibly his pants, but he's not 100% sure yet). (title subject to change)
1. I forgot

_Hey bros, this sucks but I promised a friend Prucan like a year ago and yeah I work on it all the time and it's finally getting somewhere uh...yeah. "childhood friends that have a fall out" this is what's going on yupppppp I don't know what I'm doing I'm sorry_

* * *

Gilbert stumbled out of the car, giggling a bit and waving goodbye as the car drove off. His head was light and felt like it was trying to move faster than the rest of him which made walking rather difficult. It didn't help that the rest of the world seemed to be floating. Hanging out with his "friends" always left him feeling this way. More stumbling brought him to the front steps of his house where he was vaguely surprised to find a short blond boy sitting there. He grinned widely and plopped down next to him.

"Birdie! Wassuuuuuuup?"

Matthew, his best friend of 6 years, had his arms crossed over his chest and a worried expression on his face. At least it looked like a worried one, Gilbert's fuzzy brain wasn't sure.

"Where have you been Gilbert? We were-"

Gilbert found himself focusing on the other boy's lips as he started speaking, not hearing what was being said to him at all. _Matt sure has a cute face. Not ugly like his brother. His lips look really soft. I wonder if they are...I should_-

"Gil, wha' er you doin'?"

"Huh?" Gilbert's train of thought was derailed. He had his hand extended and his fingers on Matthew's lips making it hard for the blond to talk. Matthew pushed Gilbert's hand away from his face.

"Why are you touching my lips?"

"Was I?"

Matthew's worried look was replaced by one of annoyance. "Gil, are you high or something? You smell and your eyes are really red."

"I'm albino, my eyes are always red."

"Shut up, you know that's not what I mean."

_What color are Matthew's eyes?_ Gilbert leaned forward to look into Matthew's eyes, personal space never an issue with him and even less so at the moment, what with his mind jumping all over the place. _I thought they were blue but they're...purple? Is that purple? How come I didn't notice that before?_

"Gil?" Matthew was used to Gilbert's disregard for personal space but having the older teen this close was making him uncomfortable.

_His lips were really soft, though. And his forehead wrinkles when he frowns, that's cute. What if Matt is really a girl, that would explain why he's so cute. I should-_

"Gil!"

"Huh?" Both of Gilbert's hands were on Matthew's chest, lightly clutching the front of the red hoodie he was wearing.

"Is 'huh?' all you can say? And stop touching me!" He brushed Gilbert's hands away and stood up, leaving the stairs to stand in front of his friend. "Where have you been all day? You didn't come home last night and your parents thought you were with me until I called looking for you this morning. I even called Francis and you know I hate doing that."

"I was with some friends."

"That's what he told me, but which friends?"

Gilbert stared blankly at his hands and didn't respond. Matthew took a deep breath and tried to resist the urge to throttle the other teen; it took a lot to make Matthew angry but Gilbert was pushing the limit. He couldn't tell if the other boy was ignoring him or had just zoned out completely.

"Hey, Birdie," Gilbert looked up from his hands and flashed him a lopsided smile. "Isn't your brother's birthday in a few days?"

Matthew cocked an eyebrow at him. "Yes...why?"

"We gotta do something good this year. I wasn't around on the fourth last year so we gotta make up for it!" Gilbert stood up and lunged at Matthew, missing him entirely. After nearly face planting into the grass, he turned back towards Matthew and latched onto the other boy's sweatshirt again. "Whoa, dude, don't move so fast, I'm gonna fall."

"I didn't move, Gil."

"No, you totally did. So about your brother's birthday." He brought his arms up around Matthew's neck and let all of his weight fall on the shorter boy, nearly pulling them both down. "Aren't you guys twins? I forget."

"Yeah..."

"You have different birthdays though, I remember. When is your birthday, Birdie?"

Gilbert suddenly found himself in the grass after all. Matthew had turned and shoved him away, and in Gilbert's high-as-a-kite state he couldn't manage to catch himself. He crashed into the ground, hard, and found himself staring up at the stars in a daze. "Owww..."

"It's today."

Matthew's voice was quiet, quieter than usual. Gilbert sat up slowly, holding his head. Miraculously, it felt clearer; smacking your head into the ground could do wonders, apparently. He cocked his head to the side and looked up at Matthew with a puzzled expression. "What's today?"

The slightly confused and annoyed expression Matthew had been wearing changed to one of pain. He stared at Gilbert for a moment longer, sad violet eyes into confused crimson ones, before turning away slowly and walking back towards his own house.

"Wait, Birdie, where are you going?" Gilbert scrambled to his feet and followed him. Matthew sped up when he heard Gilbert calling after him and had already reached his front door when the other boy caught up. "What was that shove for? That hurt you kno-"

"Mattie!" The front door opened to reveal Matthew's twin, Alfred, standing there wearing a sparkly party hat. The grin on his face dropped when he saw Gilbert standing behind his brother. "Oh, hey, you found Beilschmidt. 'Bout time you showed up, Mattie wasted his entire birthday looking for you."

Gilbert no longer felt light and fuzzy. That feeling was replaced by a heavy weight in his chest as sudden understanding came to him.

"Birdie...I'm sorry."

Matthew didn't turn around. He pushed past his brother and into the house, disappearing up the stairs. Gilbert tried to follow but Alfred blocked his way. He may have been younger and shorter, but he'd also been playing football since he was five; Gilbert didn't stand a chance against him. Once again, he found himself flat on his back in the grass.

"We've had an understanding ever since you moved in and my brother decided you were worth his time," Alfred said menacingly as he stood over Gilbert; for a 14 year old he could actually be pretty scary when he wanted. It was a trait he and his brother shared. "You don't ever make him feel bad and you never tell him he looks like a girl because even though he does, he doesn't like it. You're never around anymore, and I figured this one was a given, but spending time with him on his birthday is the job of his best friend. "

"I know, I'm sorry! I got distracted and I forg-"

"Don't even try to say you forgot because you know that ain't gonna fly with me. 'I forgot' is never something you say to Mattie and you know it." Alfred hauled Gilbert off the ground by the front of his shirt and marched him across the yard back to his own house. He shoved Gilbert up the stairs and onto the porch where he rang the doorbell repeatedly. Barking dogs followed by a disgruntled Ludwig met them at the door.

"I found your brother." Alfred shoved the taller teen forward and he staggered into Ludwig's chest. "He smells like alcohol and weed and I'm pretty sure he's higher than Mount Everest. Have fun." He turned around and left Gilbert to his fate.

* * *

_I accidentally made myself high once by taking too many pain meds and I ran into 2 walls and had to lay on the couch for 3 hours (where I blogged about it) after which I ate an entire pizza and then went to work fun story_

_I'm so good at this writing thing pfff_

_Gil's in trouble next time_

_whenever that is_


	2. Walkie-talkies

_woah the first chapter got followers what up bros how y'all doin_

_Off to a bad start submitting a really short second chapter (it's several hundred words shorter than the first one I suck at this gomen)...but it's been a really long time since I actually put effort into writing anything and yeah. I never did one of those disclaimer things but uh, obviously these aren't my characters if I had created Hetalia there's no way I'd _not_ let everyone know about it._

* * *

Twenty-four hours, several lectures, two screaming matches, and a long phone call later, Gilbert found himself alone in his bedroom packing his belongings into a large suitcase. In the morning he was bound for Germany and there was nothing he could do to stop it- unfortunately for him, he already had a passport and could leave immediately. _Apparently_, his life choices were not the sort of choices his parents were okay with and their solution was to send him to live with his stick-in-the-mud grandfather. Indefinitely. He barely even spoke German!

To top it all off, he hadn't been able to talk to Matthew yet.

"Dammit!" Gilbert threw the phone at the wall after another unsuccessful attempt at getting Matthew on the phone.

_"Uhh...Matthew can't talk right now, he's...uh...in the bathroom!"_

_"...that's what you said when I called ten minutes ago."_

_"Oh_, _did I? Well then, he's...umm..."_

_"Thanks anyway, Ms._ _Williams."_

Matthew didn't have a cell phone and at this rate he wouldn't get to apologize before he left. Gilbert sighed and turned to collapse face first onto his bed.

"Owww..." He reached under the pillow he'd landed on to retrieve whatever object had just bruised his cheek. It was a walkie-talkie, plugged in behind his bed and shoved under the farthest pillow. _Walkie-talkie, huh? I haven't used this in months._ They'd tried out the tin can phone thing across the gap between their houses and it hadn't worked out (because neither of them actually knew how that worked), so they'd saved up and bought a pair of walkie-talkies. That way, even when they were separated, they could stay up all night talking. Ever since Gilbert had made his new "friends", though, his half of the pair had gone mostly unused.

An idea struck him and Gilbert switched the walkie-talkie on, pushing the talk button hesitantly. If he was lucky, Matthew's walkie was still turned on even after all these months of radio silence.

"...er...Mattie?"

Static.

"Uh...hey, Mattie, if you can hear me...um...well I get that you don't want to talk to me but can you at least acknowledge that you're hearing me?"

More static. Gilbert left his bed and walked over to climb onto the window seat.

"Come on Matt, please? You don't have to say anything if you really don't want to. Come to the window at least?"

Gilbert pulled back the curtains and stared intently across the gap between their houses, through the branches of the tree he used to use to sneak into Matthew's room; lately all he'd used it for was sneaking out to hang out with his new friends. He could see the silhouette of someone walking past Matthew's window, but the curtains didn't stir.

"Please, Matt, if you can hear me, please come to the window. I know you're in your room, I can see the light."

The light in the other boy's room promptly shut off. Gilbert let out a small chuckle.

"Now I know you can hear me! Come on! Just talk to me, please? Have you ever heard me say please this many times, I'm serious!"

After a moment of silence the light in Matthew's room came back on followed by Matthew pulling the curtains aside to glare at Gilbert through the tree branches. He was holding his own walkie-talkie in one hand. Gilbert tried to summon his usual confident smirk to give his friend but the reflection he saw in the window just showed an uncomfortable grimace. He pushed the talk button on the walkie-talkie once more.

"So uh...I guess the fact that you actually came to the window means you're willing to listen?" He looked to Matthew hopefully, waiting for the other boy to speak or do...something, anything to let Gilbert know he'd be given the chance to make it up. He watched as Matthew unlatched his window and raised the bottom pane before holding the walkie-talkie outside the window.

"Wait, what are you-"

Matthew shut his window and pulled the curtains closed again as the walkie-talkie fell into the bushes below.

* * *

_matt you little shit_

_I'm sorry if this isn't making much sense so far with two (really short) chapters, but I promise it will in the long run? Maybe? It all makes sense in my head when everything is said and done so I hope it turns out well._

_(reviews are welcome come on I will accept anything even criticism)_


	3. Letters from Germany

_heeeeeeeeeeeeeey_

_it makes me mad that I can't use the at symbol why can't we type out email addresses so dumb_

* * *

_-2 months into Germany banishment-_

To: Matthew Williams (canadiEHn(a) worldmail . com )  
From: Gilbert Beilschmidt (a_w_e_s_o_m_e(a) worldmail . com )

Subject: you know what sucks?

NOT GERMANY! I thought being trapped here was gonna suck major balls but so far it's been pretty cool! Besides the whole you still not talking to me thing I mean. It's been 2 months Matt, come on! But anyway Germany is actually majorly awesome (almost as awesome as me). Great food and cute girls! AND on my next bday I'll be able to drink beer LEGALLY! The downsides are the fact that my gramps keeps a really close watch on me, I swear he thinks I'm shooting up all the time the way he watches me. He only lets me leave the house on my own with this stuck up neighbor kid named Roderich. Which is actually okay because he always has this dude named Eli with him and he's pretty cool. Reminds me of you cuz he looks a lot like a girl and he's a year younger than me (that was actually a joke I've seen you naked you're not a girl)(this probably isn't helping you get over being mad at me)(dude pls reply to at least one email come on). Gramps requires that I keep myself busy with "productive pass times" so he made me sign up for music lessons starting right now actually I'm supposed to be next door learning to play the piano from Roderich so I gotta go. I'll be waiting on a reply Birdie.

* * *

_-3 months into Germany banishment-_

To: Gilbert Beilschmidt (a_w_e_s_o_m_e(a)worldmail . com)  
From: Francis Bonnefoy (honhon_oui_baguette(a)worldmail . com)

Subject: I saw Mathieu today...

Which is a normal occurrence seeing as he is my cousin, but that is beside the point. He wanted me to tell you he isn't going to reply to your emails and would you kindly "stop sending two everyday my inbox is full." He said this while holding his newly acquired hockey stick and actually seemed quite threatening for once. Pining doesn't suit you Gilbert, find a hobby.

* * *

_-3 months into Germany banishment-_

To: Matthew Williams (canadiEHn(a)worldmail . com)  
From: Gilbert Beilschmidt (a_w_e_s_o_m_e(a)worldmail . com)

Subject: remember that guy Eli I told you about...

I've mentioned him a few times and if I know you (which I do) you still read my emails even if you never reply. Also Luddy told me your mom asked how I was and if I was enjoying the piano and I haven't told your mom about that (I do have her email tho. I may have to start emailing her instead if you never reply ;D).

Anyway I started school yesterday (uniforms ugh, so unawesome) Roderich is in my grade so I see him a lot during the day and that's cool. He's kind of a dick sometimes but I like him. Eli tho, remember Eli? Grade below me, looks like a girl? Turns out he is a girl. She is a girl. Eli is short for Elizaveta. Went to Hungary to visit family and came back with boobs. I'm so confused.

* * *

_-5 months into Germany banishment-_

To: Gilbert Beilschmidt (a_w_e_s_o_m_e(a)worldmail . com)  
From: Matthew Williams (canadiEHn(a)worldmail . com)

Subject: (No Subject)

Francis said he told you to stop sending me twice daily emails but you're still doing it. Twice everyday for 5 months. Why. If you insist on sending me email even though you know I'm mad at you, limit yourself to every other day, I'm begging you.

I'm glad you've made friends though. It would suck if you had to go to school in a foreign country without anyone to talk to.

Btw, this email doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you. I'm not sure when I'll stop being mad.

* * *

To: Matthew Williams (canadiEHn(a)worldmail . com)  
From: Gilbert Beilschmidt (a_w_e_s_o_m_e(a)worldmail . com)

Subject: !

FINALLY! Francis bet on 7 months I win 20 bucks! I was starting to give up on you, tbh. But it's great to hear from you Birdie!

* * *

To: Gilbert Beilschmidt (a_w_e_s_o_m_e(a)worldmail . com)  
From: Francis Bonnefoy (honhon_oui_baguette(a)worldmail . com)

Subject: Idiot

Perhaps telling Mathieu that we made bets on how long he would refuse to talk to you wasn't your smartest idea. He came over this morning to tell me that I owe you $20 and to chase me down the street with a hockey stick. I'm using that $20 to buy new slippers.

* * *

_-8 months into Germany banishment-_

To: Matthew Williams (canadiEHn(a)worldmail . com)  
From: Gilbert Beilschmidt (a_w_e_s_o_m_e(a)worldmail . com)

Subject: So hockey

I hear from everyone that you joined the hockey team? They kept mentioning you and hockey sticks so eventually I had to ask. That's cool Mattie! You gotta be tough to get slammed into glass walls so I know you can definitely do it!

Have I mentioned that Eli has a crush on Roderich? She told me yesterday and I almost laughed- -he's FLAMING and she hasn't realized it. I kept that to myself though, it sounds kind of rude. Even if it is true. I should carry a fire extinguisher around he's flaming that hard. I kind of get what she sees in him what with all the musical talent he has (he's a prodigy actually)...and he has nice hair I guess? Eli keeps saying something about his butt, but I just don't see it.

* * *

_-18 months and hundreds of emails more into Germany banishment-_

To: Gilbert Beilschmidt (a_w_e_s_o_m_e(a)worldmail . com)  
From: Alfred Jones (hero1776(a)worldmail . com)

Subject: i dont like u

ur a dick nd i dont want u talkin to mattie anymore

maybe u thnk ur helping ur case by sending emails all the time bt matt just looks frustr8ed nd kinda sad n i don't like it

if he wants 2 kno about ur life he'll ask u

* * *

_-approximately 3 years into Germany banishment-_

To: Matthew Williams (canadiEHn(a)worldmail . com)  
From: Gilbert Beilschmidt (a_w_e_s_o_m_e(a)worldmail . com)

Subject: Hey it's been awhile...

I'm not totally unreasonable, I figured if you spent so much time telling me you didn't want to talk to me it was probably something you really wanted. So here we are after a long break from talking (with only the occasional email update from me) and I'm ignoring the "stop emailing me" request one last time because...THE AWESOME ME IS COMING HOME! My parents agreed I could graduate back in the states so I'll be back for my final year! And all my classes are gonna be super easy-the curriculum at my school here is apparently ahead of what I'll need for graduation back in the states. I could actually graduate early they said, but I'd rather relearn a few things and have my senior year than skip it. I hear tell from Luddy that you're actually a genius (I already knew that of course, the awesome me has always been aware of your awesomeness) so you're in AP classes and are taking senior courses? Maybe we'll have classes together!

I'll see you soon Birdie, school starts Monday and I fly back Saturday. You're welcome to go to the airport with my folks if you maybe don't hate me now, I told Luddy to tell you what time they're leaving.

* * *

_yeah that was that_

_I really don't have anything to say I just like making ANs_


End file.
